Archive | August, 2014

Sharing is caring

12 Aug

A Tuesday morning is greeted with the sad news of Robin Williams’s passing. I would like to thank my friends who posted this news on Facebook – all 42 of you – but I didn’t really bother scrolling down further so I may have missed a few posts. The world mourns for his death.

Someone else on this side of the planet is also mourning, but for a different reason. She mourns for her grandmother, who had gone not long ago, and she’s fulfilling her duty for the last time. 

There is much sadness in the air today, and the weather decides to dress for the occasion with an dreary overcast. The internet provides me with much warranted details on Mr. Williams, the sky darkens from a white-ish grey to a black-ish grey. I really like it when the weather responds to the mood I am in, it feels like an everyday useless superpower.

The only uplifting news of the day is that I am able to get breaking news through friends on Facebook. Much like the spoilers it provided during the World Cup and for the movie that I am about to watch, Facebook is quite literally live text update of the happenings around the world. Everyone shares their mind with the rest, and even now, as I sit restlessly on my chair, the updates breathe fresh air on me, and giving me fresh impetus to stay awake on a gloomy afternoon.

Keep the updates coming, friends. It keeps me going on a Tuesday.

 

I am doing research

11 Aug

Monday. A slow day. I watched the hands on my watch tick, hours became minutes, minutes became seconds, seconds became lapses. I can’t believe how I am spending my Monday – reading silly articles online, looking at cat pictures, and the occasional Too Cute on Youtube. I must admit: that Corgi pup melted my heart. 

All that took the whole of 10 minutes to do, and soon I was back to twiddling my thumbs. I had to maintain my concentration, but just staying awake was getting harder and harder to do. Maybe that huge lunch wasn’t such a good idea. Thanks to science, I now know that the brain is feeding me Melatonin because the stomach needs more energy to digest all the food I managed to shove down my throat. Thanks, brain.

Outside, the clouds are shifting quickly. I vividly remember the sun spraying my eyes with death beams 10 minutes ago, but all that’s left of it is a shade of yellow smearing through the cracks between the overcast clouds. 

The tabs on my browser are shifting rapidly as well. The symphony of keyboards drown out the whispers from the far end of the office. Unlike everyone who seems to be using most of their keyboards, the keys I am using are Alt and Tab. Juggling between cats, silly articles and Corgis is no easy task when your back is to the boss’s office. Do you read keenly and have a good laugh? Or do you slightly tilt your head so your eyes can scan the edge of your vision to detect imminent danger?

That is a tough choice, and on a slow day like this, the lure to read deeply to have a good chuckle is concrete. After an intense debate, I decided to look at funny pictures. Just as I am getting into it, a voice screeched from behind, “what are you doing?”

“Fuck,” I nearly blurted out.

What I dreaded really came to pass My boss was as tall as the Statue of Liberty behind me. She raised her eyebrows, “are you doing anything important?”

Determined not to look like a complete tool, I uttered the greatest lie a writer could use at work, “I am doing research.”

She arched forward as if to look at the picture in greater detail, squinted her eyes and turned towards me with a wtf look, and waited for me to explain.

“Shit, I haven’t thought that far ahead,” My brain informed me.

I gave the best poker face and looked at her sternly, pointed at the picture, “we need to do research on museums, and this is exactly what people are like at a museum. I am trying to get a feel of it. Inspirations.”

I had no idea what I said. She, however, did. Her face began to relax, eyebrows returning to their natural resting positions, mouth nearly uttering an “oh”, but the voice wasn’t there. I kept my poker face up, looked at her dead in the eye, waiting for her next move, like a chess master who just made a master stroke of a move and staring down their opponent. 

She said in a moment of clarity, “OHHH, right, for that wine thing. Good work. Carry on.”

In that moment, I knew I won Monday.

What I was looking at:

S8HtOIr[1]

10 advantages of working overtime unpaid

6 Aug

Capitalism and freedom lovers, you will love this. Communist and socialist pigs avoid!

1. Save money by not going out for dinner

If you are working, then you are not going out with friends. If you are not going out with friends, you are not spending money on an overpriced meal. That’s more money in your pocket! Cha-Ching!!

2. No need to talk to anyone after work

By the time you are home, everyone will be asleep, so you can enjoy the sound of silence after your boss and coworkers buzzing in your ear all day. Do you wanna hear your girlfriend/wife/children’s droning after a long day? I think not.

3. Guaranteed to fall asleep (the best cure for insomnia!)

14 hours in the office will definitely make you want to look for a bed, or at least some piece of furniture that vaguely resembles one.

4. Contributing to society

You are working to fill your boss’s linings by working more for less! Great work! This is the true capitalistic value at heart and you will do well to work more and contribute to society. You don’t want to be a communist pig now, do you?

5. Save on TV subscriptions

Who needs TV when you have that sweet 24″ LCD flatscreen monitor at work so you can youtube all day long when the boss isn’t watching? More cash in your pocket!

6. Sleep will be glorious on weekends

Who doesn’t love to sleep 12 hours straight? Now you have a good reason to do it too! Let that fatigue build up during the week so you can unleash the fury of your snores on Friday night like a super hadoken!

7. Save money by not going out on weekends

Going out is a chore on weekends after a 70+ hour work week. Isn’t staying home the better option? You are tired and going out isn’t going to help. Plus, you get to save money if you don’t go out! Staying in means more cash.

8. Budget time instead of money

Look at all the people who scratches their head when it comes to money! Well, not you! You don’t need to scratch your head because you aren’t spending yours! In fact, you are thinking real hard on where to spend your money because you don’t have time. Hey, would you rather be struggling for time or struggling for money? That’s what I thought.

9. Saving money

Need I repeat myself? CASH CASH CASH!!!

10. The circle of work

Hey, after a refreshing weekend, you have excess energy. Where best to spend that energy than at work where you will be a productive member of the society? When you have exhausted yourself, you will feel accomplished and ready for another glorious 12-hour sleep. Rinse and repeat for best results*.

*Best results include having down-payment for that sweet, sweet apartment you have been eyeing for the past 20 years. Maybe if you had worked a little harder, that down-payment would have arrived by now.

There you have it! All the perks of working overtime unpaid! Capitalism is truly great! All hail capitalism and freedom and free market!