Mind Numbing Wait

3 Apr

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It is 11:47am. I am sitting in the office with a stack of paper in front of me. The stack is essentially recyclable material because I am done with them. Draft after draft of printed ads really do add up quickly. The first piece of paper on that stack is scribbled beyond recognition. Blue pen marks, red pen marks, green highlight on top, pink highlight at the bottom and yellow highlight in the middle. I can read some of the scribbles on there, as I should, as half the blue pen marks are my own grand work, but I do realize my penmanship is terrible. I do remember penmanship being one of my worst graded work back in my elementary school days.

Beyond that stack of paper is another stack of paper. This stack is from another project, and that too has barely legible writing on the first page. What makes this stack different is that I am writing in Chinese, which makes things even worse. If you have seen me write in English, then take 70% off on craftsmanship for my Chinese handwriting. It could probably pass for caveman scribbles. As I am trying to read my own writing, I see my question mark taking resemblance to a worm squiggling out of a hole in the ground. I really can’t write in Chinese.

Yes, I have done a lot of work in the past few days. So I guess I have been productive. Now, I am merely watching football highlights on the internet while writing this. Actually, I can’t bare to watch the highlights. What a terrible game Chelsea had last night. A two goal deficit. At least they got an away goal, so they got that going for them, which is… nice…?

You may be thinking why am I writing lots of non-content. Well that’s because I am waiting for stuff to happen. Yes, waiting. I wait a lot at work. I wait for my copy to be approved, I wait for designers to be done with their artwork, and I wait for a response from clients. This is the waiting game. I now have the right to put down “has incredible patience” or “has the patience of several saints” on my CV. Perhaps I could update that while I am waiting.

Yawn. Please don’t start sending me emails at 5:30pm, because this sort of practice is bullshit. I work better at 2pm than at 6pm.

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Starting anew

27 Mar

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So I quit my old job. F that place with a cactus. Not that I hate it, mind you, I love the people there. I made some good friends there. Let’s just say the experience could have gone better if the boss wasn’t a total nutjob, 

Let’s set the sales target to be three times of this year’s! I think it’s normal. Every company does this.

Yeah, OK, you crazy sonofabitch. Operating in a saturated market, without new outlets nor new connections, and expecting more than double of last year’s figures. If someone else told me this, I would have said they were either delusional or high, or both. But it seems so unsurprising coming out from her mouth, much like hearing a beggar say what they were gonna do with lottery winnings. 

Well, I am gone, I am out of the fire, hopefully not into the frying pan. I love writing, and that’s what I am doing at the new job, or not, because I am writing this. At least the boss here doesn’t come in at 7am and start sending emails. I am done with being an “entrepreneur” on salary.

Friends of the old place, may you be able follow suit soon as well.

Alternate Reality

26 Feb

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Awhile ago, I was fascinated by the show Fringe. It’s an awesome series that explored the realm of what is termed fringe science. Mutations, dimensional collapse, time travelling, teleportation… you name it, they got it. One thing that really stuck out was the concept of alternate reality – or – parallel universe.

Think about it, somewhere out there, an exact “duplicate” of yourself is wandering around, possibly doing something completely different. An office drone in this reality could be a star athlete in the alternate reality. Your “duplicate” would have taken different paths to get to where they are today. Think back to when you had to make a big decision. That time when you filled in your university application, that time when you got drunk instead of studying, or that time when you decided it was a good idea to not pull out. What would have happened if you chose a different path? Would you have turned out differently?

At another crossroad, the decision you make would creative another alternate universe where the other you walked the other way. I always wondered if humans would ever find concrete evidence of an alternate universe and perhaps one day invent an elaborate contraption that would take us back and from these realities. 

But that would be scary. If we indulge in another universe, we would lose sight of what is real. We may never go back. What if you stumbled upon a universe where you hadn’t existed at all? Would your existence in that universe disrupt the dimension? Would space be ripped apart because of your intrusion? 

Having said that, dimensional travelling sounds awesome. So let’s hope that happens.

Why is Monday Monday?

24 Feb

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With the blessing of the weekend gone, Monday is again afoot to mark the beginning of another grind. This begs the question – why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday? Some might say, the weekend is not enough.

For those of us who are looking for a way out, every Monday is a grind, yet an opportunity. It’s a struggle because you don’t want to be here yet it’s the time when people will look at your résumé. The first order of the day would be to read the news then go on JobsDB or whatever it is that you use to start looking again.

Suddenly, you remembered the 5 applications you sent out last week. You keep your hope up and checks your phone every 15 minutes to see if there are any emails or missed calls from one of these places. But of course, no emails or missed calls. Depressed, you press on with your job search.

No. No. No. Too far. Scam. Too shitty. Not enough experience. Scam. Scam.

That about sums up what goes on in the mind when going through that list of job postings. You are defeated, and it’s not even close to midday yet. This is gonna be a long week.

Let’s just say when Godzilla has the need to facepalm, you know you’re not in a comfortable position.

How to currency

21 Feb

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I believe it’s common sense to bring the local currency to the country you are travelling to.  Not her though. Not her. I would like to see her try bringing Swiss Francs to America to see who takes it.

My colleague, F, ended up paying because she didn’t have local currency. We are hoping she will pay her back at the correct exchange rate.

Good luck, F. We are rootin’ for ya’.

Even More Shit the Bosses Say

13 Feb

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Things are very interesting at the office. My colleagues are friendly, my workspace is spacious, my boss is mouthy. The words that come out of her mouth are unbelievable. However, they are still words that other shitty bosses would spout. 

I have plenty more stories to write, as there are so much I have not accounted for, but hey, people seem to like what bosses say, so here we go.

1. Boss says: Give more energy to this.

Boss means: Work off hours for this.

2. Boss says: You need to sleep with [project] and eat with [project].

Boss means: Work off hours for [project].

3. Boss saysThere’s no bonus this year because mistakes were made.

Boss meansThere’s no bonus this year because I am fucking cheap and because I said so.

4. Boss says: (at a meeting) We can achieve the [unobtainable target] if we put our hearts to it.

Boss meansYou need to achieve the [unobtainable target] or your ass is on the line.

5. Boss saysWe need a marketing position for ourselves

Boss means: I have no idea what that means, but I bet spewing business jargon will scare the shit out of you guys.

And that, my friends, is that. If your boss ever say something dubious, do leave a message and let me interpret it for you! Here’s something to keep things upbeat.

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Last I heard Sunday didn’t mean Monday

12 Feb

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This was my exact face on Sunday. I was not amused, not pleased, not happy. 

Woken up by a text at 10:30am, I rolled over to check who it was. Bad decision. It was QB asking me to find something on the government’s website. I pfft-ed and rolled back to the other side. 

Come noon and I was out having brunch with parents, and I received a text from her urging me to reply sooner rather than later. I begrudgingly replied. This was where the nightmare started.

One text soon became two, two became four, four became eight. She knew I was awake so there wasn’t much of an excuse. So there I was, out in the streets, doing research for her while walking with my parents, trying to spend some time with them.

Didn’t get a thank you, didn’t get any appreciation. She pressed with her questions and I duly responded to each and everyone of them, no matter how NOT URGENT this matter was. All she wanted to do was revise an entry in Wikipedia. Seriously? This couldn’t wait? I don’t see the urgency in that. 

For me, if it was urgent, then I would definitely entertain your request. Business is, after all, business. For stupid shit like this?

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At the end of all that, she had the audacity to send me this. The following is verbatim.

We don’t do thing tmr. We do thing now! Give more energy to this.

I kid you not.

Folks, this is why people leave the company. Unreasonable bosses play a huge factor. You would do well to remember that. Bottom line – don’t ask people to do work outside of working hours unless it’s urgent or agreed.