Tag Archives: Reddit

Writing Prompt Mondays

8 Sep

I found a writing prompt on Reddit, and here is the result.

 

A ray of warm light lands on Steve’s face. Another sunny day. Steve instinctively turns away from the sunshine and he is comfortable again. Just as he settles in his new posture, a blaring noise screams 5 inches away from his head. Jolted by this sudden noise, he slams his hand on the ever annoying alarm clock to get 5 more minutes in bed.

 

A nudge in the back was enough to keep Steve from drifting off again. When he didn’t budge, another nudge came, only more forceful. The nudges kept on coming, and at the end, Steve had enough and opened his eyes. His fingers reached across the bed to turn off the “Nudger” of the MORNINGRISE3000. He is already regretting his purchase of this machine, supposedly a substitute for those who are single and in need of a morning push.

 

The blinds are lifted with the push of another button on the MORNINGRISE3000 console. Not for the first time, the blinding yellow sun greets Steve with a harsh stare. From the 13th floor of his apartment complex, everything looks beautiful. The palm trees are moving in the wind, the waves are hitting the shore rhythmically, and the sands on the beach are inviting him to join them.

 

With another touch on the console, the coffee maker prepares his coffee and breakfast. Bacon and scrambled eggs are his favourite. Steve drags himself from the window and decided he should get himself ready for work. As he walks out the door, the bedroom darkens. The sun no longer hangs in the sky, and the beach with lapping waves ceased to exist.

 

Steve could only hear the static of dust particles ramming into the residential complex magnetic shield, and the echoes of the wind are already playing in his mind. His routine shower was particularly cold this morning, and his only thought was that beach he had seen a million times out that window. His coffee was tasteless, as usual. A drink once meant to be an enjoyment is now merely a brain enhancing chemical mixed to look like the golden brown liquid that men once loved.

 

Without missing a beat in his routine, the closet opened with his shirt of the day just as he finished his last sip. Quickly slipping into his gear, he walked onto the door mat and the computer scanned his suit to ensure all seals are tight. In a few seconds, the screen read OK and a green light lit up beside it. Steve pressed AIRLOCK on the touchscreen and a tube instantly encased him and sent him down. On his way down, Steve look a deep breath of compressed air, and waited for the tube to unseal.

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Billions celebrate 2014 online

2 Jan

(Various sources) Internet bells rang around the world as lonely people from across the internet celebrated the turning point of 2013/14 in unison. New Zealand was the first to go, followed by the spider-infested Australia. Stock photos of fireworks were posted on popular forums and many virtual champagnes were had

Many festive activities were held around the world for this annual occasion. “Redditing” seemed to be a popular activity as evidenced by the constant stream of user contributions. As of the time of this report, over 10,000* new posts have been made, and some even made it to the front page. Gaming was also prominent as servers of hot games such as Battlefield and Team Fortress were congested by the thousands of gamers who had nothing better to do. When their choice of festivity was questioned, one gamer responded with “U wot m8?” Justifying their decision to sit at the computer and rage at strangers at the turn of the year.

More kinky activities were also reported, with many online denizens claimed to have participated in the “cross-year fapathon”. This is a sacred tradition among Redditors. Users would turn on whatever turns them on at 23:55 local time and begin their favourite pastime – masturbation – and climax when the clock strikes 12. It is believed this will bring good luck to their online ventures for the coming year. While the validity of this belief is unconfirmed, it would seem at least they had a happy ending to their year.

With billions celebrating, many new year’s resolutions were also made. We believe 99.9% of these resolutions will be abandoned within the next 48 hours. Multiple sources confirmed that their resolutions were drunkenly made and therefore should not be counted. The lack of resolve indicates 2014 will be business as usual.