Tag Archives: work

10 advantages of working overtime unpaid

6 Aug

Capitalism and freedom lovers, you will love this. Communist and socialist pigs avoid!

1. Save money by not going out for dinner

If you are working, then you are not going out with friends. If you are not going out with friends, you are not spending money on an overpriced meal. That’s more money in your pocket! Cha-Ching!!

2. No need to talk to anyone after work

By the time you are home, everyone will be asleep, so you can enjoy the sound of silence after your boss and coworkers buzzing in your ear all day. Do you wanna hear your girlfriend/wife/children’s droning after a long day? I think not.

3. Guaranteed to fall asleep (the best cure for insomnia!)

14 hours in the office will definitely make you want to look for a bed, or at least some piece of furniture that vaguely resembles one.

4. Contributing to society

You are working to fill your boss’s linings by working more for less! Great work! This is the true capitalistic value at heart and you will do well to work more and contribute to society. You don’t want to be a communist pig now, do you?

5. Save on TV subscriptions

Who needs TV when you have that sweet 24″ LCD flatscreen monitor at work so you can youtube all day long when the boss isn’t watching? More cash in your pocket!

6. Sleep will be glorious on weekends

Who doesn’t love to sleep 12 hours straight? Now you have a good reason to do it too! Let that fatigue build up during the week so you can unleash the fury of your snores on Friday night like a super hadoken!

7. Save money by not going out on weekends

Going out is a chore on weekends after a 70+ hour work week. Isn’t staying home the better option? You are tired and going out isn’t going to help. Plus, you get to save money if you don’t go out! Staying in means more cash.

8. Budget time instead of money

Look at all the people who scratches their head when it comes to money! Well, not you! You don’t need to scratch your head because you aren’t spending yours! In fact, you are thinking real hard on where to spend your money because you don’t have time. Hey, would you rather be struggling for time or struggling for money? That’s what I thought.

9. Saving money

Need I repeat myself? CASH CASH CASH!!!

10. The circle of work

Hey, after a refreshing weekend, you have excess energy. Where best to spend that energy than at work where you will be a productive member of the society? When you have exhausted yourself, you will feel accomplished and ready for another glorious 12-hour sleep. Rinse and repeat for best results*.

*Best results include having down-payment for that sweet, sweet apartment you have been eyeing for the past 20 years. Maybe if you had worked a little harder, that down-payment would have arrived by now.

There you have it! All the perks of working overtime unpaid! Capitalism is truly great! All hail capitalism and freedom and free market!

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Mind Numbing Wait

3 Apr

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It is 11:47am. I am sitting in the office with a stack of paper in front of me. The stack is essentially recyclable material because I am done with them. Draft after draft of printed ads really do add up quickly. The first piece of paper on that stack is scribbled beyond recognition. Blue pen marks, red pen marks, green highlight on top, pink highlight at the bottom and yellow highlight in the middle. I can read some of the scribbles on there, as I should, as half the blue pen marks are my own grand work, but I do realize my penmanship is terrible. I do remember penmanship being one of my worst graded work back in my elementary school days.

Beyond that stack of paper is another stack of paper. This stack is from another project, and that too has barely legible writing on the first page. What makes this stack different is that I am writing in Chinese, which makes things even worse. If you have seen me write in English, then take 70% off on craftsmanship for my Chinese handwriting. It could probably pass for caveman scribbles. As I am trying to read my own writing, I see my question mark taking resemblance to a worm squiggling out of a hole in the ground. I really can’t write in Chinese.

Yes, I have done a lot of work in the past few days. So I guess I have been productive. Now, I am merely watching football highlights on the internet while writing this. Actually, I can’t bare to watch the highlights. What a terrible game Chelsea had last night. A two goal deficit. At least they got an away goal, so they got that going for them, which is… nice…?

You may be thinking why am I writing lots of non-content. Well that’s because I am waiting for stuff to happen. Yes, waiting. I wait a lot at work. I wait for my copy to be approved, I wait for designers to be done with their artwork, and I wait for a response from clients. This is the waiting game. I now have the right to put down “has incredible patience” or “has the patience of several saints” on my CV. Perhaps I could update that while I am waiting.

Yawn. Please don’t start sending me emails at 5:30pm, because this sort of practice is bullshit. I work better at 2pm than at 6pm.

Starting anew

27 Mar

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So I quit my old job. F that place with a cactus. Not that I hate it, mind you, I love the people there. I made some good friends there. Let’s just say the experience could have gone better if the boss wasn’t a total nutjob, 

Let’s set the sales target to be three times of this year’s! I think it’s normal. Every company does this.

Yeah, OK, you crazy sonofabitch. Operating in a saturated market, without new outlets nor new connections, and expecting more than double of last year’s figures. If someone else told me this, I would have said they were either delusional or high, or both. But it seems so unsurprising coming out from her mouth, much like hearing a beggar say what they were gonna do with lottery winnings. 

Well, I am gone, I am out of the fire, hopefully not into the frying pan. I love writing, and that’s what I am doing at the new job, or not, because I am writing this. At least the boss here doesn’t come in at 7am and start sending emails. I am done with being an “entrepreneur” on salary.

Friends of the old place, may you be able follow suit soon as well.

Why is Monday Monday?

24 Feb

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With the blessing of the weekend gone, Monday is again afoot to mark the beginning of another grind. This begs the question – why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday? Some might say, the weekend is not enough.

For those of us who are looking for a way out, every Monday is a grind, yet an opportunity. It’s a struggle because you don’t want to be here yet it’s the time when people will look at your résumé. The first order of the day would be to read the news then go on JobsDB or whatever it is that you use to start looking again.

Suddenly, you remembered the 5 applications you sent out last week. You keep your hope up and checks your phone every 15 minutes to see if there are any emails or missed calls from one of these places. But of course, no emails or missed calls. Depressed, you press on with your job search.

No. No. No. Too far. Scam. Too shitty. Not enough experience. Scam. Scam.

That about sums up what goes on in the mind when going through that list of job postings. You are defeated, and it’s not even close to midday yet. This is gonna be a long week.

Let’s just say when Godzilla has the need to facepalm, you know you’re not in a comfortable position.

How to currency

21 Feb

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I believe it’s common sense to bring the local currency to the country you are travelling to.  Not her though. Not her. I would like to see her try bringing Swiss Francs to America to see who takes it.

My colleague, F, ended up paying because she didn’t have local currency. We are hoping she will pay her back at the correct exchange rate.

Good luck, F. We are rootin’ for ya’.

Even More Shit the Bosses Say

13 Feb

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Things are very interesting at the office. My colleagues are friendly, my workspace is spacious, my boss is mouthy. The words that come out of her mouth are unbelievable. However, they are still words that other shitty bosses would spout. 

I have plenty more stories to write, as there are so much I have not accounted for, but hey, people seem to like what bosses say, so here we go.

1. Boss says: Give more energy to this.

Boss means: Work off hours for this.

2. Boss says: You need to sleep with [project] and eat with [project].

Boss means: Work off hours for [project].

3. Boss saysThere’s no bonus this year because mistakes were made.

Boss meansThere’s no bonus this year because I am fucking cheap and because I said so.

4. Boss says: (at a meeting) We can achieve the [unobtainable target] if we put our hearts to it.

Boss meansYou need to achieve the [unobtainable target] or your ass is on the line.

5. Boss saysWe need a marketing position for ourselves

Boss means: I have no idea what that means, but I bet spewing business jargon will scare the shit out of you guys.

And that, my friends, is that. If your boss ever say something dubious, do leave a message and let me interpret it for you! Here’s something to keep things upbeat.

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Serial Hogwash Information Teller

11 Feb

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Last Friday, bullshit sirens were blaring all over. Verbal bombs were exploding around me. I am engaged in the first meeting for the year of the Horse.

We go through the usual ritual saying how we suck at our jobs, that we are not simply employees, and giving us empty encouragement. Oh yeah, landing on the sun is definitely an easy task. Yeah, no problem.  The North Koreans did it recently, so why can’t we?

Now I am not against objective results, but when you hang your goals so high that we need to build a rocket just to reach it, you have to get real. We don’t have a rocket. In fact, we don’t even have the resources to build an engine. The best we can do given the time and resources is build a ladder and look like we are lifting off.

I didn’t really object to her criticism, not because I agree with her, but because it is futile. Why bother when there’s nothing to be gained from it? As a salary slave, we know when to object and when not to. When you are faced with QB, it’s best not to as she believes she’s always right. Much rather save my energy.

Of course, as with most of her shit, she’s not going to let us off easy. We were crudely reminded to sleep with it and eat with itIf we don’t, then we are not on task and not fit for the job. Well here’s what we think,

There.

I wish this was the end of it, but no. Oh no. She won’t let us off easy. Tomorrow, we will get into how my Sunday was ruined.